Our core weakness is what causes us to stumble in life. It’s what trips us up when we think we have it all together. The good news is, we are not destined to be stuck in our weakness.
As an Enneagram Type 3, my core weakness is deceit.
I think I am only the image I present to others. I embellish the truth by putting on a polished persona for everyone, including myself, feeling I can only be loved by appearing or feeling accomplished. I avoid failure at all costs. I shape shift into any image that helps me appear successful and hide anything that doesn’t conform to this image, bragging, flaunting my accomplishments, dressing well or owning expensive items.
The good news is, I already have it all through Jesus.
I’m sitting here on furlough, discovering today that this week’s payment has been denied. Rent is due this weekend. I am freaked out. I do this to myself. I buy things that I really don’t NEED. I could sit here and just watch TV. i don’t need to crochet a blanket for my bed? I don’t need to can food. I don’t need plants on my porch. I tell myself I need these things to keep me from being bored. I want to portray an “I’m doing fine image to everyone around me. Truth is, everyone around me would completely understand if I wasn’t fine. So here I am, freaking out because I have $600 to my name and I need about $1000 to pay all my bill that are due this coming weekend.
You know what? I’ll be fine. I can pay them late. I know they will understand because of the shape our world is in.
I can learn from this moment and stop spending money. I need to eat everything in this house before I buy anything more. I have plenty to entertain myself with here.
And just like that, I am no longer freaked out! I am sure I will have a couple more moments, but God’s in control and I am not. And that’s a good thing. It gives me peace. So is this a polished persona?? UGH!!