The Creative Phrog

3 sx 3-6-1

Remember back in March when I said I was a 3 in the Enneagram? I want to come back to that.

The Enneagram is a way of looking at personalities that we all have and a tool to use to better understand, first, ourselves and then, those around us.

I flew through my books. I love learning more about myself and how I can be a better version of me. I don’t know why. I just do. We all have room for improvement, and I can’t expect you to be a better version of you if I’m not the better version of me.


If I am my best self, I can present to you, whether it’s in a social setting or work setting, my best attributes. I can show up ready to be the best me. And, well, that’s just a win-win for everyone.

So each number represents a main personality type. This type is what drives us, motivates us, what we naturally bring to the table overall. It doesn’t change over time. The theory is, things happen in our very early years and we become our self based on these early experiences. We can become a more healthy version of ourselves and we can creep into an unhealthy version of ourselves as well. Some days we do both over and over!

The purpose of knowing your type is to be able to see what triggers us and moves us into the unhealthy, so we can catch it and move ourselves back into our average self or healthy self.

I am a Type 3. The Performer. I am success-oriented, image-conscious and wired for productivity. I am motivated by a need to be (or appear to be) successful and I avoid failure when ever I can. [The Road Back to You by Cron and Stable] If you know me, you may or may not see me that way. Threes are chameleons. We change to fit the need at hand (to be successful). Did you see the Seinfeld episode about Worlds Colliding? That is a real thing for Threes. We are one way with this group and another way with that group, because that is what each group needs from us. We see meeting your needs as success.

Each personality has a center of intelligence. Mine is the Heart. I view the world through my emotions. I am learning that is why I am a cryer. I cry about sad things, happy things, frustrating things. I just cry. Men hate that, but it’s how I am. I’ll even cry because you are crying, which is ironic, because most of the time I don’t understand what emotion you are showing me, or expecting from me.

Each personality type has one of three survival behaviors. Mine is One-on-One, Intimate, Attraction or Sexual behavior, noted as “sx”. Depends on what book or website you are looking at as to what this is reference. They are all the same thing. What it means is, I really value connections and relationships. Which explains why I always want to have an other half in my life.

Each personality type has a Wing. It’s another personality type that strongly influences you. Most people lean into one or the other. I teeter between the two fairly evenly. I’m weird. It’s ok. I own it. Because I’m a 3, my wings are 2, The Helper, and 4, The Romantic. Some days I am projecting an image to please the group and other days I can really turn on the charm and even give you a helping hand. Truly I am Chameleon at its best. But it can be exhausting.

Each Enneagram Type type predicts how one will operate under stress and when feeling the most secure in one’s self. When I’m stressed I become an unhealthy 9. I retreat and do meaningless tasks to distract myself. When I am secure in myself, I become more like a positive 6, and know I am loved for just being me so I don’t feel I have to show that I am “the best”.

Last, but not least is my Harmony Triad. We all have them. Mine is 3-6-1, also known as The Taskmaster. Now I don’t understand what to do with this information quite yet. But I’m going to figure it out. I’ll let you know what I find.

So this is my launch pad for my “get to know me” journey I am on right now. I want to learn to embrace the ME God made me to be. He made me just this way for a reason, and rather than fighting with what I perceive as not so great self, I want to be able to say, “Thank you Lord, for making me this way. It’s a challenge at times, but I sure do come in handy at times too!”

Here’s a few more sources for me to share about the Enneagram:

My next step is to listen to each of the days work from The Enneagram Type 3: The Successful Achiever and really do the work to digging into myself deeper. Hopefully it’s not as painful as it sounds. I guess we will see, won’t we?

3 sx 3-6-1

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